Self-help guide encourages you to lighten up
Among a wide selection of self-help guides to a happy life, Vicha Tuabao (The Art of Being Lightweighted ) by Khunying Chamnongsri Hanchanlash is perhaps distinctive in style.
A compilation of 34 well-being columns that have appeared in the monthly Health & Cuisine magazine, the book includes reflections on the author's life experiences both good and bad. With an unpretentious writing style, the author shows readers how she has applied a sense of humour, optimism and Buddhist teachings to solve the many problems in her life.
The main gist of the book is that life is not perfect. But despite that, one can still live happily as long as one can reflect on their mistakes positively.
Several interesting pieces in the book involve relationships. One example involves a grandmother who could not overcome her anger when she looks at her grandchild born out of her daughter-in-law's extramarital affair. Although the grand - mother forgave her daughter-in-law, she couldn't condone the child being raised as her grand-daughter.
From this example, the author encouraged contemplation of two words: yok thod (to forgive) and hai apai (to condone). These words have similar meanings and yet subtle differences that can have a huge impact. To forgive is much easier, since we can justify things by rationales and behaviour. But it is much harder to condone since our emotions and ways of thinking are deep-rooted, the author writes.
Another touching example involves a runaway teenage girl and her strict mother. Instead of scolding her daughter for running away, the mother was asked to calm down and write about her feelings of love for her child. That love letter magically cured the broken relationship.
In another delightful piece, the author shows how the vice of forgetfulness can be a blessing in disguise. While being forgetful can cause much annoyance, the author says it helps her to maintain her peaceful state. Poor memory, she writes, means she quickly forgets about anger inflicted upon her.
Parts of the book read like the author's personal memoirs, as she recounts incidents from her father's death to her grandchild's birthday. This intimacy brings the reader closer to the author. By sharing her dilemmas, passions and grief, the reader follows her train of thought to her message of detachment.
Following her positive outlook on life to the last page, those who feel the weight of their mental troubles can finish the book blissfully in a state of "light weightedness".
From: Book Review, Bangkok Post Out look. Saturday, October 18, 2003
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