A heaven for unmarried mums
By Wipawee Otaganonta
Ouan and Nid made several trips up the steps, helping other women lugging mats, baskets, and bottles, and pilling them in one corner of their new home. Then both hurried to tend to their most precious belongings, already laid out on mats in one room.
Man, son of the 37-year-old Ouan, is around-faced five-month-old with a winning smile
and good humour. Boom, the month-old daughter of Nid, is a red-faced plump bundle in her
mum’s arms.
Looking at the four happy residents of Baan Sai Samphan, one finds it difficult to believe that not so long ago Ouan and Nid had considered deserting their babies at hospitals. But it’s a
fact. Both women are poor, working in low-paid jobs. Their children were born outside marriage,
form relationships that didn’t work out.
“At first I was afraid of staving if I kept Boom,” confessed Nid. “Now I love her so.” Ouan
said she was immensely glad that she hadn’t given her boy away, especially now that she’s
getting back together with her boyfriend.
Just like Ouan and Nid eight other residents of the home have also decided to keep their babies, one of which is yet to be born; one resident is eight months pregnant and it’s clearly the love and dedication of those who run Baan Sai Samphan that helped tip the scales in favour of motherhood in each case.
Despite its relatively young age – the first home opened in October 1990 – the Baan Sai
Samphan project has already proven its effectiveness in deterring desertion of babies. In its one year and four months of operation, it has acted as a safe haven for 28 unwed mothers and their babies, allowing them to form bonds and gain strength that eventually convinced all but one to keep their children. The residents were referred to the home through social workers attached to several hospitals in Bangkok.
“It usually doesn’t take long before the mothers decide to keep their babies, as the
home provides them with a supportive environment in which everyone loves and cares for her
baby. That, and caring for one’s own child always does the job,” said Niyom Thanthranond,
head of the Social Work Section of Children’s Hospital, and a founding “mother” of the project.
While the first home was a rented house, this new, and more permanent, home has been built specifically for the project. The simple but pleasant-looking wooden structure straddles a ditch in one corner of Sathien Dhammasathan, a privately-owned dhamma centre in Soi Vatcharaphon, off Ramintra Road. Its 10 mother residents range from 14 to 37 years old.
The project is overseen by a 14-member committee comprising social workers and lawyers. However, it’s Sansanee Sthirasuta, a Buddhist nun and the chairman of Baan Sai Samphan and owner of Sathien Dhammasathan, who has played the leading role in turning it into a reality. It’s also her who has injected a unique element – dhamma practice – into the operation.
It began a little over a year ago when Sister Sansanee agreed to a proposal by Niyom to
lend a hand in setting up a home for unmarried mothers and their babies.
“Khun Niyom told me about the growing number of newborn babies being deserted
in Bangkok hospitals, and how most of these cases are of unwed mothers not ready to care for
their children. Also that the government still doesn’t have a facility to solve the problem,”
recalled Sister Sansanee, the petite nun who has become increasingly known among dhamma
practitioners as the ever-active founder and owner of Sathien Dhammasathan.
“After deciding to take up the project as its chairman, I asked that it should emphasise
not just giving the mothers material comfort, but giving them opportunities for them to
develop and strengthen their minds as well, so they stay on their feet all through their lives,”
she explained.
Niyom, an old hand in social work with her 30 years of experience at the Children’s
Hospital, wholeheartedly agreed.
“These women suffer great emotional pan. Many have been abused or raped. Dhamma
practice can help them overcome that pain, and be in peace with their motherhood.” The
motherly social worker pointed out.
A committee was speedily formed, and the name – Baan Sai Samphan – was aptly chosen. With the help of Kanitta Thevintarapakthi, committee member and public welfare official, the project secures the bulk of its funding from Save the Children, the well-known British-based organization.
Now in its second year, Baan Sai Samphan today celebrates another big step as it settles
into a brand-new home, built early last year. More important than lending a sense of
permanency to the project, the new home will facilitate the second goal set out from the
beginning.
As it stands in the grounds of Sathien Dhammasathan itself, its residents will have an
opportunity to receive dhamma instruction from Sister Sansanee as well as from other Buddhist teachers.
“If the women can adjust and develop their minds, they will become true mothers, with
love and compassion to guide their child to grow up healthy, both physically and spiritually,"
said the highly regarded dhamma instructor Prof Khun Runjuan Intrakumhang, consultant of
Baan Sai Samphan.
“Even if the mothers decide to give up their babies in the end, dhamma still helps them
to develop understanding and compassion towards their fellow beings,” added Acharn Runjuan.
As the residents hurried about getting things in place, some helped take care of others
babies, even breastfeeding them when the need arose. Ooi, the eight-months-pregnant resident, got plenty of practice as she held and soothed other residents’ babies.
“Here we’ll stress the living together as kallayanamitr,” said Sister Sansanee. “Those already living here, who have had a chance to regain their strength, will be ‘warm hands’ for newcomers, teaching them child-care and lending comfort.”
Child-care instruction is a must, as practically all the residents are first-time mothers. Comfort is just as essential, since they arrive distressed and in emotional turmoil.
Besides a live-in housekeeper, the residents will receive plenty of counselling and guidance from both Sister Sansanee, Niyom, and a social worker, who will visit regularly.
Daily activities will evolve around child-tending, sharing household chores, and job training. Realising that unmarried mothers must be able to support themselves financially of they are to bring up their children properly, committee members have arranged for volunteers to give instruction on the type of work that the women can do at home – for example, handiwork, artificial flower-making, and cooking.
“Some of these women already have their own work which they might go back to, but
they seem to enjoy learning new skills anyway,” explained Sister Sansanee.
One big advantage of having such a place as Baan Sai Samphan, observed Niyom, is that the babies will grow very healthy as they will continue to receive mother’s milk for an extended period of time. “Only when the mothers are in ill health, or don’t have enough milk, do we allow supplementary bottle feeding,” she said.
When possible, project committee members also try to help their residents deal with their emotional and family problems. Niyom swelled with pride when she recalled how she lent a hand in reconciling Ouan and her boyfriend, the father of Ouan’s son. Another success story
was when she helped persuade the upset parents of a resident, a Ramkhamhaeng student, to
forgive her and to accept the child.
If a resident eventually decides to give up her child, the project will guide her through the adoption process. “Only one did. She was a rape victim who couldn’t forget her painful
experience. Luckily, the baby was immediately adopted by a loving foreign couple. The girl is
now treated like a princess,” beamed Niyom.
According to Niyom, to make sure that the home’s residents truly get back on their feet,
the project also extends its aid beyond their stay.
“Before a resident leaves us, we’ll see that she has a place to stay and a means to
adequately support herself and the baby,” said Niyom. “Sometimes we supplement her
income, give her milk supply, until she can manage on her own. We also help her find a job.”
Monitoring of former residents of Baan Sai Samphan is done by a group of in structors
and students of Thammasat University’s Faculty of Social Work.
“The group, which also gets findings to the Government so that it can be used in the
setting up of suitable facilities for similar purposes,” said Niyom.
“It’s our goal from the beginning for Baan Sai Samphan to be a pilot project for other
similar facilities to be set up in the future,” added Niyom. According to the social worker, the
Government plans to set up such facilities in the next two years.
As the afternoon wore on, Ouan and Nid rested in different corners. Ouan took a nap
alongside her son. Nid found a breezy spot on the balcony where she could hold her daughter
in her lap. When her eyes weren’t on Boom’s tiny body, they seemed to look out over the lush
garden, into the future.
From: Outlook, Bangkok Post January 25, 1992